Have you ever asked your kids about who they hang out with?
If you are a mom, I am sure many of you would say YES. Me too. I want to know who my daughters’ friends are.
Are they nice? Are they a great influence on my daughters?
You may also hope that their parents are also nice.
We also tell your children to be respectful and be kind to their friends, right?
“If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothin’ at all.” — Thumper, Bambi
Although we as a mom encourage our children to keep a great attitude, moms are not doing “the walk the talk”.
There is always going to be some mean moms
There are some groups of moms who hang out after they drop off their kids. One day, when I was chatting with some of the moms, our conversation turned into completely a trash talk.
I am completely honest with you, I admit that I was not just listening but I also contributed to this conversation.
We were talking about one of the moms who dresses very nice every morning and how that is unnecessary.
Few weeks after this conversation, I actually had an opportunity to get to know that mom who we were talking bad about. She is such a nice person and of course, I felt bad. Ever since then, I promised myself that not only I tell my daughters to be nice and respectful, I myself need to be careful of my action.
I was a target of the mean moms.
A couple of months later, one of my mommy friends told me that a group of mom was talking bad about me. WOW! She was kind enough to share the conversation and also she let me know that she told the moms that she is my friend that she disagrees with what they said. (I wanted to cry.. really). When she told me about this, I exactly knew who were those mean moms; however, that was not my big concerned at this point.
I was a target of the mean moms.
I reflected on myself when I was in that group talking bad about this one mom. To me, I was a little bit jealous of her because she looks amazing from early morning with super cute clothes. Even her yoga pants style looks so stylish. I mean, every morning is a war for me so just getting out of the door on time is my biggest focus and there are many more days without makeups. I just wear a sunglasses and a tracker’s hat.
Many people who complain about others is because of themselves, not the others. They might be jealous or envy about others or they want to vent about something.
How did I deal from the mean moms?
If you find out that other kids are talking bad about your own children, what would you do?
If I were in the situation, I would tell my kids to focus on their friends who are nice to them and ignore the negativity. However, if the situation gets worse and your feeling is hurt or if they even get hurt, they need to let me know. I would also remind them not to mirror the same behavior to hurt others’ feeling.
Well, the situation that I was in was that I was the target.
I didn’t want others to ruin my day so I was able to quickly recovered after a punch to my stomach. So this is what I told myself and moved on.
- Wow, I am so flattered that someone had extra time to talk about me!
- I am so honored that they were watching me.
- I feel good because they are jealous of me because I am a bad a** working mom!
Who are you hanging out with?
Jim Rohn famously said that “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with”.
As you care about your own children and their friends, we as a mom also need to be careful of who we hang out with. I stopped hanging out with those mean mom group (I still say hi, but I don’t join the morning chat). I also learned a lesson that it is really not ok to judge other moms. Do not assume anything about moms until you actually talk to and get to know them.
We are all different and there are so many ways to do parenting. I will continue to hang out with my mommy friends who bring a positive influence on me.
What about you? Who are you hanging out with?